As you all may know, the theme of this month’s Temple Talks has been “I am St Stephen’s.” We‘ve been asked to reflect on how we arrived here and why we stay. In our busy lives, we often get caught in routines and do not take the time to reflect on such things. So, after careful consideration, I think it is fair to say that I blame my wife Sara for my being a member of St Stephen’s.

After we became engaged, we met with the rector of Christ Church Cranbrook. Sara had attended there on a regular basis, driving from Lake Orion to Bloomfield Hills, for many years. Yet, the rector acted as if she’d never been there before. He focused on making certain we’d donate money rather than asking us questions about ourselves or why we wished to marry. Well, at least he was one Episcopalian who wasn’t afraid to mention money. More on that later...

Sara was deeply hurt by that interface and decided she wanted to find a new place to begin our life together. When she visited St Stephen’s, she felt embraced. So, we attended a few times and approached the rector about getting married. Jonathan asked us about our lives, our desire to marry and outlined the process that was customary for engaged couples. We agreed that it was the right place for us.

So, I came to St Stephen’s because I wanted to marry Sara and you all made her feel welcome. We’ve stayed because of the sense of community. As you may know, there is never a shortage of opportunities to volunteer or to socialize at St Stephen’s.

Like many newcomers, I watched from the sidelines for a while after we began attending. Then, Manisha asked me to join the SWAT team. I learned a great deal about the church, the active membership, and how scary the topic of money seems to be to Episcopalians. Again, more on that later...

One of the programs in which I would encourage everyone to participate is GEM. GEM is an acronym for Greet Eat and Meet. While, as new parents this year, we’ve taken a break from GEM, we had a wonderful time in two separate groups. It’s an excellent way to get to know other members as you rotate through monthly pot luck meals hosted in each other’s homes. After the third glass of wine, one can learn a lot about those people sitting in the pew in front of you each week – whether they are at the dinner or not. So, you might want to join GEM just to make certain you are there to set the record straight! But, I will warn you, the more you participate, the more you will participate.

Through GEM, we got to know Dave and Jill Stein. Unbeknownst to me, Dave was looking for someone to replace him as treasurer. Now, I find myself serving in that role. Thanks to his mentoring, and the advice and support of Deane Blythe, Cathy Hoffman and Kevin Collins I’ve had a very positive experience as I’ve begun to learn the role over the last year.

So, back to that rector who could at least talk about money. He was inept in doing so, but at least he wasn’t afraid of the topic. I was raised in a southern Baptist church. We did things quite differently than they are done here. For instance, our sermons were much, much longer and often a bit more dramatic. However, our services did not resemble calisthenics class as we are not a kneeling culture. I’m still not comfortable with those knee pad rails.

Also, we could openly discuss money. The reality is a church must at least break even to survive and it needs seed money for the future to grow. For the last three years, we’ve struggled to balance operating revenue and expenses. As the treasurer, I can assure you, what our paid and volunteer staff do with current resources is impressive. We are blessed with excellent stewards throughout this body and I’m constantly amazed at how they work together to keep up our mission of service.

One of the reasons I am St Stephen’s is because these people inspire me.

In this time of transition, many of us will be asking ourselves, “Why am I at St Stephen’s?” Did I like the rector? Is it the music? Is it the free food after most services? I don’t think that there are any wrong answers. And, if we‘re going to be here, shouldn’t we contribute to the best of our abilities in time, talent, and yes, treasure. (That’s Episcopal code for money). We are all stressed, we are all over programmed, and we all have other fiscal obligations. But I know as a community, we will find a way to be a part of St Stephen’s that will allow God’s mission to continue through these lives and structures for many years to come.

David Williams

T.J.: Why are you drawn to St. Stephen’s?
Will: The free food at Fellowship Hour.
T.J.: I know, but what else?
Will: Ummm… Uhhhh… Youth programs!
T.J.: And what else?
Will: Umm… The loving community.
T.J.: And what else?
Will: Uhhh… THERE ARE TOO MANY THINGS TO COUNT!!!
T.J.: And what else?
Will: Ugh. (pause) What were we talking about again?
T.J.: Church. (in a manner mimicking a small child)
Will: Right. So…
T.J. : Yeah… So why do we really come to church?
Will: FOR THE FREE FOOD.
T.J.: No really why are we all here? Why do we all come back to church, week after week? What keeps everyone in this congregation coming back to the house of God? … Beside the food.
Will: Well, I suppose it’s fate that brings us together.
T.J.: Fate?
Will: I guess in a church context it’s more like the hand of God.
T.J.: So fate brings us all together, but it’s our love in God and each other that keeps us here. Were brought together by fate but we stay here through faith.
Will: That’s it?
T.J.: What! I thought that was pretty good.
Will: Yeah, but we can’t simplify church that much. It’s GOD.
T.J.: So then why do YOU think people keep coming back?
Will: Well, other than the food, the super, duper, special awesome youth programs can’t hurt.
T.J.: What about the youth programs?
Will: They’re inclusive and safe. Everyone is encouraged to join and everyone tries their best to make people feel at home.
T.J.: But what makes you want to come to Sunday School?
Will: I don’t know, hanging out with my friends. It’s like a 2nd family. What about you? Why do you keep coming?
T.J.: Oh, well I like hanging out with my friends and having fun with them. It’s like a 2nd –
Will: NO T.J. I ALREADY TOOK THAT ONE!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO COME UP WITH YOUR OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T.J.: Sorry… well I guess if I can’t have the FUN one, then I’d have to say all the lock-ins and adventures that we take.
Will: Yeah those are pretty awesome; there are just so many great things about youth group!
T.J.: J2A is just so much fun!
Will: Yeah! And we do so many fun events! Like the upcoming J2A auction which will help to fund our 2012 pilgrimage to Colorado, that everyone in the congregation is going to come to.
T.J.: Youth group just has so much to offer so many people. Will, how good of friends would we be if we hadn’t met in Rite 13?
Will: I don’t know Teej. We still would have met at the International Academy.
T.J.: Yeah. But we wouldn’t have really been good friends. We don’t see each other THAT much in school.
Will: I guess. Even though last year we were right next to each other in Band class, we didn’t get many opportunities to talk.
T.J.: And even if we did, we probably wouldn’t have talked much. If God hadn’t brought us together though St. Stephen’s, I’m not sure you would even be my friend.
Will: That’s a scary thought. I guess Church is God’s way of getting people to know each other and share in his grace.
T.J.: Yeah I guess so.
Will: It’s it great that St Stephen’s gives us a place to meet new people and be ourselves. I guess, I am St. Stephen’s.
T.J.: YES, I AM ST. STEPHEN’S
Will: But… I just said that I was St. Stephen’s.
T.J.: Yeah Will, that’s the point
Will: I guess that…
WE’RE BOTH ST. STEPHEN’S!
AMEN.

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This temple talk was given by T.J. Morley and Will Trask who are 10th Grade students currently in the J2A Youth Program.

Good morning,

I am St. Stephens because of the kindness of Cindy Bailey.

Allow me to go back a bit. My husband Mark and I moved to Bloomfield Hills a little over a year ago and had previously attended a church in Clawson. We were happy enough there I guess. We attended regularly, put our envelope in the offering plate, took a few tags from the giving tree at Christmas, returned the gift as instructed , we even donated blood at the Red Cross blood drive. After moving here to Bloomfield Hills we stopped driving down to Clawson to attend church and after a while I began to feel a yearning or a pulling back to a more spiritual direction. Over the years, I’m sure like many of you, we have endured some pretty tough times. Job losses, family illnesses, deaths of parents, deaths of dear friends, the struggles of our grown children to find their own way and the unthinkable loss of a child that although we did not conceive we loved and cared for as much as our own. For many years we struggled with our faith and like many people, we turned back towards God as a last resort. Jesus knew our pain and struggles and waited patiently and quietly until we turned around and asked Him for help. He was always there, but we turned away from Him, not the other way around.

We both felt the need to reaffirm our faith and find a church community here in our new neighborhood.
I worked in Birmingham at the time and traveled Adams Rd everyday and I’d pass both St. Stephens and Beautiful Savior. I noticed that there were always cars in the parking lot. Morning, evening and of course Sundays I found myself thinking, “what are those people doing in there that I’m missing out on?”.

Well, I went home and got out the phone book and looked up St. Stephens, I know…. I still use the phonebook. Call me old fashioned… I found the ad and right there in black and white were the words "Tradition with Humanity and Humor". I just knew I was heading in the right direction. I decided to give it a try and one Sunday in late August, I came to church alone and sat right over there. A few minutes later a pretty lady with blonde hair sat next to me and introduced herself and welcomed me here to St. Stephens. Before the service started and during the Sign of Peace we had the opportunity to chat a bit and she invited me back again next week telling me that Fr Jonathan would be back from his family vacation and she was sure I would enjoy his sermons. I can’t tell you how blessed and welcomed I felt here that Sunday. Cindy was proud of St. Stephens and made me feel as welcomed here as she would have been of her own home. She took the time to introduce me to Fr Maxwell and he in turn introduced me to Pastor Manisha. Need I say more? I was hooked.

Before leaving, I took a few minutes to view all of the information that was stapled up on the long bulletin boards in the vestibule. There were so many opportunities to be part of a ministry. There were several people signing up to help at SOS week. There was also information about Outreach, Bible Study, Prayer Group, Reconciliation, Teen Ministries, Habitat for Humanity, Altar Society, Haiti Relief, clothing drives, Retreats and on and on. I went home with a sense of excitement and anticipation. The next week, both Mark and I did return and we met with Fr Jonathan. Mark being a bit of a rebel himself and a musician, it took no time at all for them to become kindred spirits.

We had the pleasure of meeting so many people over the next few weeks. Manisha introduced me to Cheryl Davenport, then Norma Ross, Claire and Joe Grutta. We were their guests at the 12th Night celebration. What a fun night. I was asked by Norma to be her guest at the Ladies Advent Tea. What a lovely evening spent with such remarkable women. I was ready to get involved.

I decided as my first ministry to sign up to help at the SOS by being an overnight chaperone. I was joined by Monte and his son Ryan. I have to tell you. That was one of the most rewarding and humbling experiences I’ve ever had. I witnessed firsthand the enormity of that ministry. We met with Fr Jonathan and officially joined St. Stephens. I felt that it was my responsibility as a parishioner of this church and a member of this Household of God, to jump right in and share whatever gifts I had to fulfill Christ’s plan of Servitude, Humility and Gratitude. Since accepting Christ back into my life, I have felt so renewed with His Love and grace. I am now a member of the Outreach committee, a member of the New Membership and Communications committee and I will chair the Newcomers Information meetings with Karen Morley beginning next year. Mark is a vestry member and lends his musical talents at many 4:30 services. We both feel very blessed to be members of St. Stephens. We love the openness, kindness and generosity of this household and all of its family members.

In the coming months, you will hear and see a phrase everywhere here at St. Stephens. We have felt it since our first visit.

YOU ARE WELCOME HERE!
Thank You
Debbie Dutil

Over ten years ago, our family moved to the subdivision adjoining the St. Stephen’s property on the south. We were in search of a bigger home for us and our growing family – Alex being in 2nd grade and TJ in pre-school at the time. This new house was my DREAM home…. Lots of room, big bedrooms, a large lot, a beautiful wooded back yard, a garden designed by a Master Gardener, a newly remodeled kitchen, a bright family room, and all of it was wonderfully maintained and in ‘move-in’ condition. And, on top of it all, we had been able to accomplish the bidding & buying of the new home as well as the listing, selling and closing of our old home in just 60 days! It was all so clean and efficient.

At the time, our family belonged to the 1st United Methodist Church in Birmingham, MI. I hadn’t grown up in the church, but did spend my High School years in Birmingham. So, after college, I joined First Church. It was a wonderful community for me with lots of young adult service and fellowship activities and it was in this community John and I were married and in which both Alex and TJ were baptized. John sang in the choir and we went to adult bible study every Sunday… until we slowly started not to. We were becoming just a family name on the church’s roster and not active participants in the community.

So, what the heck, since the household move had been so smooth and efficient, why not think about changing our church affiliation? It seemed so logical to a pair of analytical engineering brains! We had no ideas of where to begin our search, so we started in our own backyard.

St. Stephen’s felt like home from the very first time we visited in October of 2000. On the second visit, the Ad Hoc band played and the children came into service in their Halloween costumes. And by the third visit, John was making Connie’s day by telling her he was joining the choir. And, then the dark November began in which the St. Stephen’s family suffered the loss of 3-4 of its family. Although we were new, we felt the love and caring compassion for the bereaved families and for each other. St. Stephen’s was truly the place in which we belonged!

So, John was settled into the choir and the kids were tucked into the Sunday school routine and I became a regular Sunday service attendee. Perfect! We’d found our home and our niche… on with life. But, God was far from through with me. Just a year later, Rob Redmer approached me and asked me to be a part of the Vestry, and, by the way, to take on the leadership of the Outreach Committee which included coordinating and running the largest outreach event of the year – the SOS ministry. Yikes! My first inclination was to say NO and run away – far away. But, I prayed and talked with John and came to realize that for a church to really be my home, I need to move in, unpack my soul and work! Yes, it was tough to add Vestry and Outreach to my already frazzled life with two little kids and a full time job, but was it ever fulfilling. Oh, and that was only the beginning of God’s plan for me and St. Stephen’s!

Now, eleven years later, I have been asked to get up in front of this congregation to tell you why St. Stephen’s is my home. My answer would have been the same after the first month, but after 11 years, I have more experiences and history to put behind it! St. Stephen’s is HOME and home means it’s a place for me and my family… it’s the place in which my kids grew up in Sunday School, in youth choir, as acolytes, as Rite 13 and J2Aers, as participants in fun-filled outings and as outreach providers in local and national outreach ministries. It is a place in which they are vested, in which I am vested and through which we all live. It is MY home… St. Stephen’s members are MY family… St. Stephen’s joys are MY joys… its sorrows MY sorrows… I am proud to be a member of this Household of God.

In Peace
Karen Morley